Last week in the early morning I was out in the garden getting a few kale leaves for breakfast. The day ahead was fully booked so I knew I needed a good start to the day. It was a wet morning and the dew was thick across the grass. As I reached in to break off a kale leaf I stopped. All the leaves in the garden were covered in an array of water droplets, as were all the plants in the backyard. It was beautiful. I knew this was a moment to capture. But I hesitated… I have things to do, I must get going, I don’t have time for this!
Then I realized what I was doing, shook my head at myself, and said no. I will not let the busyness of the day take away this moment. I went back into the house, grabbed my camera and proceeded to photograph the splendor of that dewy morning.
This is when I realized I had taken the first step to a newly shifting tide.
Just when I feel like I have a handle on the way things are going to work they inevitably seem to shift. Usually, I am not okay with this. But change has been brute force attack over the years and ultimately always wins. It is wearing me down to see its purpose and the necessity to go with the tide as it changes.
I preparation for a large amount of travel this summer (more on that next week), I suddenly realized how clinical things have become around here. I’ve gone from being excited to share the good eats I’ve created or found to feeling like I have to produce X recipe X times a week. Writing posts have become a drudgery.
I’ve stopped now and have taken a breath. I remember that this is my blog, nothing is set in stone. It can be whatever it needs to be. I say this for myself, not because of the pressure of anyone else. But because I tend to put myself into a box and try to conform to the status quo. This is not how I want to live.
And so it is, the tide is shifting with the blog and once again my life.
What does this mean? Not much really. I’m growing, changing, and am learning about myself. There will still be photographs and recipes… I’ll just be going about them in a different way.
Lord, we don’t where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead us to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt